Like a Dog, Crown and All: 10 Most Ridiculous Royal Deaths from China and Rome
Throughout history, emperors have built palaces, commanded armies, and declared themselves gods. But no matter how grand their titles or how vast their empires, there’s one thing they could never escape: death. And not just any death—some of them went out in ways so ridiculous, so embarrassing, you’d swear it was satire.
Whether it was a Chinese king drowning in a toilet or a Roman emperor being used as a footstool, history has shown us that death doesn’t discriminate—and neither does humiliation.
Image: A knight in ornate armor kneels on the ground, shouting or grimacing at a large wild boar. Two horses lie motionless at his feet. The scene is set in a dark forest at sunset, creating a dramatic and tense atmosphere.
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So buckle in, because today we’re exploring ten of the most WTF royal deaths from the East and West. A wild ride through time where power ends, not with a bang… but with a fart, a poisoned mushroom, or a splash in a sewer.
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China’s Top 5 Most Absurd Imperial Deaths
1.
Liu He – The Emperor Who Partied Himself Off the Throne
Western Han Dynasty, 74 BCE
Liu He lasted just 27 days as emperor before being deposed for racking up over a thousand violations. That’s about 40 offenses a day—an impressive resume of incompetence. He partied, drank, and made a mockery of court protocol, and died in obscurity, remembered only for being too chaotic for the throne.
Image: Opulent palace banquet with a man in ornate traditional Chinese robes seated at a lavishly set table. Six women in elegant dresses stand behind, holding dishes, surrounded by abundant food and wine.
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2.
Duke Jing of Qi – Laughed to Death
Spring and Autumn Period, 490 BCE
The man literally died laughing. After hearing a joke from a court jester, he laughed so uncontrollably that his organs burst. Lesson? Comedy kills, especially when you’re a royal without an off switch.
Image: A man in ornate, gold-embroidered royal robes and crown sits on the floor, laughing heartily. Behind him stands a jester in a colorful costume, with a speech bubble saying, Three king's walked into a bar...
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3.
Emperor Huan – Death by “Immortality”
Eastern Han Dynasty
Obsessed with eternal youth, Emperor Huan took alchemical elixirs that were supposed to grant immortality—but they were laced with mercury and arsenic. Instead of becoming a god, he got violently ill and died. Classic case of toxic masculinity… literally.
Image: A man in ornate traditional robes sits on an elaborately carved throne, focused on various bottles and jars of medicine or potions arranged before him. Pills and capsules are scattered on the table.
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4.
Zhengde Emperor – Died Playing Hero (Drunk)
Ming Dynasty, 1521 CE
The emperor loved roleplaying as a commoner and adventuring in disguise. On one escapade, he fell into a pigsty—while drunk, contracted an infection, and died. When cosplay kills, seriously.
Image: A man in ornate, traditional Asian armor with red and gold details is lying on his back in a pigpen, surrounded by several pink pigs. The man looks surprised or alarmed as one of the pigs nuzzles or licks his face.
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5.
King Zhaoxiang of Chu – Drowned in a Toilet
Spring and Autumn Period, 516 BCE
During a visit to a small state called Zhoulai, this king fell into a latrine and drowned in human waste. It’s unclear whether it was an accident or an assassination plot… but either way, he’s gone down in history as the king who died in a shitstorm. Literally.
Image: A man in elaborate, traditional Chinese robes with gold embroidery is standing in front of a wooden outdoor toilet. He has a shocked and disgusted expression on his face, with his mouth open wide as if yelling.
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Rome’s Most Ridiculous Imperial Exits
6.
Caracalla – Stabbed While Peeing
Image: Older man in ornate, Roman-style clothing with gold embroidery and a deep red and blue color scheme, leaning against a tree and looking serious or contemplative. In the background, a man dressed in dark armor lurks.
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217 CE
This famously cruel emperor was stabbed to death while urinating by a disgruntled soldier. Imagine conquering half the known world, only to go out with your pants down, mid-stream.
7.
Elagabalus – Dumped in the Sewer After Orgies and Scandal
Image: The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles stand in a sewer, surprised, looking at a confused Roman soldier on the ground. Speech balloon Wo dude, where did he come from.
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222 CE
Known for wild orgies, public cross-dressing, and mocking Roman values, Elagabalus was assassinated by the Praetorian Guard, dragged through the streets, and tossed into the city’s sewer. From emperor to waste in under an hour.
8.
Valerian – Footstool Emperor, Skinned for Display
Image: A joyful, heavyset man in Roman-style robes lounges on a grand chair, feet up, while a Roman soldier crouches beneath the footrest.
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Captured by Persia in 260 CE, Valerian was used as a human step stool for King Shapur, then executed and allegedly stuffed and displayed like a hunting trophy. That’s not a fall from grace, that’s a freefall.
9.
Claudius – Murdered with Mushrooms and a Feather
Image: A man in a white Roman-style robe and gold laurel crown looks surprised as mushrooms and fungus dramatically grow out of his mouth and clothing.
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54 CE
Historians believe his ambitious wife Agrippina poisoned him with mushrooms. When that didn’t work fast enough, she allegedly had a servant shove a poisoned feather down his throat to finish the job. Death by dinner and dessert.
10.
Commodus – Strangled in the Bathtub by a Wrestler
Image: Cartoon of two shirtless men in a Roman bathhouse. One, wearing a laurel wreath, sits in a marble tub while the larger man gives a friendly shoulder massage.
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192 CE
Obsessed with gladiator games and his own image as Hercules, Commodus was poisoned first—but he vomited it up. So they sent in his personal wrestling coach to strangle him in the bath. That’s one hell of a spa day.
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When Death Has No Class System
What ties all these absurd ends together? It’s simple: death doesn’t care about your crown. Whether you rule a kingdom or an empire, you can still die choking on a joke or face-down in a cesspit. Power doesn’t protect you from bad luck, dumb decisions, or a pissed-off wrestler.
Image: Regal man in ornate gold robe sits at a lavish banquet table filled with colorful dishes. Five women in elegant white dresses stand behind him, enhancing the grand, imperial atmosphere.
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From China to Rome, these royal deaths remind us that emperors were still just people—flawed, fragile, and occasionally full of shit (sometimes literally). And perhaps that’s the most humanizing, and hilarious, lesson of all.
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