When Communication Bites You in the Ass (And You’re Supposed to Be the Expert)

Let’s talk about communication—the sexy little skill everyone thinks they’ve mastered until it turns around and spanks them in public.


I recently made a video outlining what I believe are the four essential elements of being a good communicator. They are:


  1. Stay true to your principles.
  2. Start from a balanced position.
  3. Put your emotions away.
  4. Use empathic communication skills.



Sounds solid, right? Very educated. Very mature. Very… textbook.





But here’s the twist. I’m someone who’s studied psychology and sociology, someone who lectures, teaches, runs workshops, and helps people literally fight their way through life—and even I get bitten in the ass by communication. Repeatedly. Why? Because no matter how skilled you are, communication is a two-way street. You could be the smoothest talker alive, but if the other person’s not ready to hear you, it won’t matter. Sometimes, it’ll just blow up in your face.


Let’s walk through these so-called golden rules—through the lens of real-life failures.





1. 

Stick to Your Principles? Sure. If You Don’t Mind Losing a Parent.



Recently, my dad asked me if he really said something hurtful to my mom. I had a moment—a big fat moral crossroad. Do I lie and smooth it over? Or do I stay true to my “honesty is the best policy” vibe?


I told him the truth. Yes, Dad, you did say that. Twice. Here’s when and how.


Guess who’s not speaking to me anymore? 😅





2. 

Start From a Balanced Position… But What If No One Respects Chill Vibes?



I know the theory—don’t act superior, don’t grovel. But when I teach martial arts, I try to start as “cool, older bro” instead of Sensei Supreme… and my students start clowning around like it’s a school field trip.


Suddenly, I have to channel Samurai Daddy Mode and say, “Don’t ever f*cking do that again.”


Guess what? That’s when they listen.





3. 

Leave Emotion Out of It? Not When You’re on Hold with Customer Service.



Yes, I’ve read the books. I’ve taught the workshops. But try being calm and polite while explaining the same issue to the fifth customer service rep in a row.


You stay zen, they stay useless.

You raise your voice and threaten to report them? Oh look, now things are magically getting done.





4. 

Use Empathy. But Timing Is a Cruel Mistress.



My girlfriend told me she gained five pounds. My brain went, “Great, time to be helpful!” and I launched straight into fitness trainer mode. Advice, tips, diet suggestions…


She was not impressed.


What she wanted wasn’t a trainer. She wanted her man. Her soft place to land.


Lesson: empathy isn’t just knowing what someone feels, it’s knowing what they need from you in that moment. And that requires shutting up and listening first.





Final Thoughts (And a Little Spank at the End)



Communication isn’t a script. It’s a dance. And sometimes, your partner’s got two left feet—or they just want to sit this one out and have a drink.


So yes, master the tools. Learn the techniques. But don’t be shocked when they fail you now and then. Because being human is messy. Communication is messier. And perfection? That bitch don’t live here.





If you’re curious about the kind of real, raw, and accessible education we offer—whether it’s through my artwork, martial arts, or philosophy of life—check out TigerTactile.com. It’s not just about art. It’s about learning to feel your way through the world.




#communicationfails #realcommunication #lifelessons #emotionalintelligence #honestconversations #tactileart #psychology #relationships #martialartswisdom #tigertactile #johnnytiger 

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